Looking back over the last month, I noticed an inordinate number of clients who were what I call “Sleeping Beauties.” What are Sleeping Beauties? Sleeping Beauties can be male or female—but, usually female. They are people who are waiting for a prince to arrive and kiss them into their lives. The passivity of this position—no pun intended—leaves me feeling puzzled.
I believe very strongly that periods between relationships are great opportunities for growth. Once a relationship of the permanent kind appears in a woman’s life, a whole new identity must develop—what I call the “we identity.” Relationships are all well and good, except that if you do not begin to discover who you really are before the relationship ship arrives, you are in danger of attracting an extremely dull prince.
Years ago, I actually asked a client, “Would you be interested in you—a beauty who lies in her bower (read, sits in her cubicle all day), doing nothing but dozing and waiting for her prince?” I’m glad to report that the woman in question went back to school to further her education, began a new career, travelled around the world, did personal growth work and actually did meet a real prince—really, from a non-reigning Italian royal family. She married him and settled in Montréal, where they run a successful women’s fashion boutique.
Now, if that woman had stayed at home in her bower (office cubicle), played it safe and continued to doze, she may have met a perfectly acceptable nerd and could now be living in a nice house in Surrey. Looking at that particular woman’s chart, though, the prince was definitely a better option for her.
Sleeping Beauties come in all ages, shapes and sizes.
Last month, one of my SBs was fifty-five, divorced and waiting. I asked what kind of prince she envisioned. Let’s just say that there might have been a chance of an encounter only if the prince had severe astigmatism and a hearing problem. Sleeping beauties sometimes—not always—forget that how they present themselves both in visual appearance and attitude can determine the kind of prince, if any, they will attract. I don’t believe that every woman should be tarted up and tottering on five-inch heels. I am still an old-school feminist. However, some attention to appearance is important.
Last year a 350-pound SB broke my office chair just as she was asking about her prince’s possible proximity. It seemed as if the universe were telling her that a prince with enough cash to buy really sturdy furniture was not yet on the scene.